Moving past third-person phrasing to model real boundaries, helps families replace daily power struggles with calm, adult-level respect.
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Often, we use third-person phrases like "Mommy doesn't like that," but kids respond better to direct, honest, first-person communication.
I know it feels "gentler" to use baby talk, but it can actually be confusing for them.
Talk to your child the way you would talk to another adult you respect.
If they hit you, block the behavior immediately and say, "I won't let you hurt me. It hurts".
Avoid lengthy, condescending explanations that they will likely tune out because they are already feeling overwhelmed.
Keep it simple, firm, and real.
Using "I" sentences models the vocabulary of feelings and boundaries you want them to use.
It shows them that you are a person with your own needs and limits.
It teaches them empathy by showing the real-world impact of their actions.
Clear, firm, and calm communication is the hallmark of an effective leader, whether in the boardroom or the playroom.
I know it’s hard to stay calm when you’re hurt, but those "I" statements help you stay in your logical brain too.
Dr. Camilla Gupta is a board-certified pediatrician at ABC Pediatrics in Corpus Christi, TX.
Visit her main website to book a prenatal visit, transfer care or book an appointment.