Whether pacing the floor at 3 a.m. or pushing a stroller through Cole Park, navigating a fussy baby takes a village.
Most of us don't just imagine having a baby—we imagine what motherhood will feel like.
We picture sweet cuddles, tiny yawns, and somehow finding our rhythm.
Then reality arrives, and every baby is different.
Some sleep. Some don't.
Some need to be held constantly.
Some seem to cry no matter what you try.
Many moms are surprised to find that they don't feel like themselves anymore.
It can feel as though your brain is constantly on high alert, every cry setting off an internal alarm.
If this is your experience, you're not failing.
You're adjusting to one of the biggest physical and emotional changes a person can go through.
If you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the diapers and the sleep deprivation, please know you are not alone.
As a pediatrician, I can tell you that high-need babies are often just very healthy, alert, and wired for survival.
But as a mom, I know that mom guilt inside your head is telling you that "good moms" have babies that don't cry.
This isn't a failure of your parenting; it’s a conflict between your need for rest and your baby’s biological need for constant motion and exploration.
If you are struggling, I want you to remember a tool called the “GIFT" and use it when the walls feel like they’re closing in:
Get moving—dance with your baby to release endorphins.
Inhale—calm your own nervous system so you can be the "nest" your baby needs.
Feed—both your baby and yourself with nutritious food
Touch—stroke your baby to raise your own oxytocin levels. Your body is their interactive bridge to the world.
Your mental health is the most important thing for your child's well-being. Get your village to help when able.
Taking five minutes for yourself or serving a quick meal isn't a failure; it’s an act of self-preservation that allows you to be a more present, patient parent.
You don't need to be perfect; you just need to be you.
Share this with a new mom who needs a reminder that she is doing enough.
Dr. Camilla Gupta is a board-certified pediatrician at ABC Pediatrics in Corpus Christi, TX.
Visit her main website to book a prenatal visit, transfer care or book an appointment.